Anti-Prayer of Anti-Saviour Donald Trump

St. Francis of Assisi wrote this memorable prayer in the 15th century and it has served as a cornerstone to Christian charity ever since:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy. 

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive, 
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, 
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Mr. Trump practices his own version whose principles must make any of his conscientious Christian followers suddenly understand cognitive dissonance.

MAGA, I know no instruments of peace

where there is calm let me further disrupt

where their is injury, let me add to it

where there is doubt let me widen the chasm

where there is despair, let me add to the hopelessness

where their is darkness, let me deepen the abyss

where there is sadness, I will offer no succor

Oh, power granted to me by MAGA, grant me unconditional adoration

so that I may be never questioned,

and never buy into the power of love

And may I always be the receiver of boundless grift

and that I be the sole arbiter of pardons.

And it is because I do not believe in eternal life

that I grab everything now.


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