Too Easy

Recently, I had a discussion with a conservative friend. When I offered a rationale for Trump’s behavior, he countered with, “That’s too easy.”

He was right. My thinking lacked thought and proved to be simply a heuristic function.

Unfortunately, too many politicians are responding to difficult questions with answers that are “too easy.”

Then, there’s Marjorie Taylor Green, the mannequin with a blond wig that Bealls’ misplaced during early days of the pandemic, and recently found postering as a public servant from north Georgia. After the Chicago 4th of July shooting that left seven people dead, she said on Facebook that the massacre was orchestrated by Democrats as part of an effort to convince Republicans to support gun control measures.

That’s beyond easy. That’s skateboarding behind a pick-up truck. That’s lighting your charcoal with a flame thrower.

Ms. Green has never exerted herself in intellectual pursuit.

“She’s been known to give up after your first move in tic-tac-toe,” said a childhood friend, who wished to remain anonymous. “She claimed her pen ran out of ink.”

Another high-school acquaintance recalled the time she looked over to see what her friend had written on a pop quiz. When her friend answered, “I don’t know,” Green wrote, “Me neither.”

Green’s synaptic path during cognition is greased with neurons coated with silicon that slide right pass any neurological receptors, defaulting to the most readily available conclusion.

“It’s similar to the brain function of a parrot,” said renown neuroscientist, Sergy Sergov. “The brain only has the capacity to mimic, not to deduce.”

Unfortunately Ms. Green seems to fail in that category as well, as evidenced when she confused Gazpacho for Gestapo while attempting to criticize Nancy Pelosi’s rules for limiting Covid exposure in the House of Representatives.

Actually, that does not surprise me, said a student who had a history class with her in junior college.

When asked what gods the Samaritans worshipped she answered, “Well that depends if we are talking about good samaritans or bad samaritans.”

Why’s that? Her friend asked.

“Well, ain’t it clear that only Good Samaritans can be Christian!”

Rumor has that Green once filed suit against Staple’s for false advertising. She went shopping for the “Easy button,” but found it didn’t exist.

“She was pissed,” said the reporter who wrote about the lawsuit that was summarily dismissed. “She wanted a button she could press that would do her filing and mail her letters. When the judge said it was only an “advertising artifice,” she seemed puzzled.

“But I really needed that button,” she muttered.

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